before
we get to the links. . .
Classic Johnny Jokes
"
I was so naïve as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."
" According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than
to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: You don't hear from your relatives."
" For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but
phone calls taper off."
" Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring
leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard."
" If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts."
" The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation
gives a husband time to hide his money."
" The Surgeon General announced today the ultimate safe-sex product. It's
called a Rubik's condom: By the time you've figured out how to use it, you've
lost
the urge."
" When turkeys mate they think of swans."
" There's a new invention: snap-on acne for people who want to look younger."
" What's all this fuss about plutonium? How could something named after
a Disney character be dangerous?"
" The Oscars are two hours of sparkling entertainment spread over four hours."
" I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He
was
healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Here’s
Johnny!
the official Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson website
Esquire Magazine
By Albert Brooks
Salon.com
Johnny Carson
On the good nights, he was the second best thing you could do in bed -- but
on his best nights, he was the best.
By Jack Boulware
AARP
Where’s Johnny?
The Inside Story On Hollywood’s Most Elusive Star
tvtome.com
Johnny Carson biographical information
Seeing-Stars.com
Johnny Carson Park, Burbank, California
The Quotations Page
Johnny Carson Quotes
Seeing-Stars.com
Johnny Carson Statue, Television Hall of Fame, North Hollywood, California
The Kennedy Center Honors, 1993 +